The Art of Becoming

The other day we were at the YMCA and Sean agreed to use the potty before we left to run errands.  An unusual compliance from him, I applauded his self awareness. But then Sean began getting nervous as he surveyed all of the toilets. Sean: Which one can I use, Mama? me: Any one you want, buddy. Sean: Do the toilets flush by themselves? me: Yes, Sean, all of them do in here.  We talk about this every time. Sean: I don't like it when the toilets flush by themselves! This rigamarole.  We go to the YMCA a couple times a week, and he always worries about the same thing.  He doesn't like how loud the toilets sound when they flush, and his dislike is heightened by the fact that the toilets seemingly flush on their own accord.  I did not have much patience for this predictable exchange. me: I know you don't, but it's time to use the potty and then we need to go!  Come on - He slowly, ever so slowly, began pulling down his pants, bending over at the ...

Lady: That's disgusting. Husband: What? Lady: (to little girl) There is no way I'm letting you go in there! Girl: Why not? Lady: There is disease in there.  It's disgusting.  Disease and dirty diapers!  Do you know what happens to people who go in there?  They get sick.  Husband: (quietly) Really? Lady: (to little girl) There's NO WAY I'm letting you go in there! This was the conversation that occurred right next to us as we approached the splash-pad-esque-water-area at the Minnesota Zoo.  I had looked it up on the internet earlier that morning and saw that there was a water area with fountains and squirting water where the kids could play.  On a hot day, it seemed like the best place to be AND it's in the middle of the zoo.  Does it get any better than that?  He was so excited about the possibility, Sean wanted to wear his swim trunks and swim shirt TO the zoo.  I thought this was a great plan. Yet somehow we got stuck n...

It rained here today.  I was grateful because our car needed a good external rinse to get the chalk off.  Chalk? Why chalk, you might ask?  Well, it was a slight misunderstanding, but Seancito decorated our car with chalk designs a couple weeks ago, and we've been without rain (or the car's been in the garage) so there's been no opportunity for a rinse.  Did either Tom or I try to rinse it off ourselves after we realized he'd chalked the car?  No.  Why would we do something like that?  A couple weeks ago, he'd taken sidewalk chalk to his tricycle.  I think the misunderstanding occurred somewhere in here: Sean: Hey, look, Dada, I colored my bike! Tom: (feigning a level of excitement greater than he actually felt) Oh, nice, buddy!  Keep up the good work. It was only later, when we got the family together to go somewhere that I saw the chalk designs all over the car. We'd been chalked.  Tom assured me that he and Sean had a little dis...

At approximately 12:45pm today I was scrubbing the kiddie cart attached to the grocery cart at Target.  Both kids were in the car eating gummie bears.  They had not yet eaten lunch.  I was hunched over the cart, my backside hanging all too closely to the traffic in the Target parking lot, and I realized that I had only eaten a piece of toast with peanut butter on it, a cheese stick, and a cup of coffee this morning.  No wonder the heat was getting to me.  If you think me a thoughtful Target shopper for cleaning up my cart after using it, then I want you to hold that thought in your brain while you read the rest.  Perhaps you will think well of me for another 60 seconds until you get to the end. We traveled to Texas this weekend for my Grannie's 90th birthday celebration.  It was a great time!  It's been far too long since I'd seen my Grannie, aunts, uncles, cousins and cousins' offspring.  A good time was had by all.  Some highlights a...

It was 100 degrees in the Twin Cities yesterday.  That's hot.  So we've spent a couple days at the splash deck at the YMCA.  The first time we went a couple weeks ago, Sean and Audrey were both skeptical.  We didn't stay very long, and neither one of them liked the element of surprise that the water provided.  However, we invited friends to come with us earlier this week, and not only did I appreciate the company of another mom, but I hoped the presence of the two other kids would encourage Sean to step out of his comfort zone.  It was a success!  All of the kids had a good time playing, sliding, and jumping through the water.  I was grateful to see Seancito being brave and grateful to the other kids for showing him the way. Back at the YMCA this morning, getting dressed to go out to the splash deck, Sean reminisced about our recent visit to the splash deck with friends. Sean: Mama? Do you 'member when we brought the Hjelles with us to the sp...

Sean saw a bird's nest outside the other day.  It was on the ground and we were examining it. Sean: Why is the nest on the ground? me: I think it fell out the tree? Sean: How does the nest stay in the tree, Mama? me: They are very good builders, and when they build with their sticks, they make sure to position the nest in the branches so it won't fall.  Exept for this nest... which fell... Sean: The birds should have used tape on their nests. me: Ehhh... (laughing)...that's a good idea.  Maybe they could find some tape somewhere... Sean: Can we call all the birds, and tell them that there nest is here and that they can put it back in the tree?  Be all warm and cozy inside their nest? He was so pleased with his idea; his face was aglow thinking about it.  I love how in-tuned Sean is with his creativity and ideas.  A simple joy of childhood, no doubt, is the lack of censor on his ideas.  Whatever comes into his mind he allows to play o...

The most common phrase I heard before we had Sean was something like "babies don't come with an instruction manual" and after having two kids, I could not agree more.  When Sean was first born Tom and I were both overwhelmed and overjoyed by the newness of our child.  We had no idea why he wouldn't sleep well, why he was spitting up through his nose, why he cried so much.  We tried heeding the advice of one friend who told us, "Babies cry.  That's it.  Babies cry."  A simple, subtle yet straightforward instruction that no matter what we do as parents, babies are still going to cry. Though our kids have come to us without an instruction manual, they seem to hit stages in their young lives where they begin to instruct us.  Manual or not, they have many ideas of how things should proceed and how they should be treated. For example, when Audrey is too loud in church, we will take her in the back or out to the lobby to allow her to be a baby and babble,...