Mole Autopsy
The man who lives behind us has a beautiful lawn. Nothing too fancy, but the grass is green, there doesn't seem to be any weeds, and he waters it daily with a sprinkler system. It's clear he cares about yard cleanliness. Come to find out, he more than cares . One day he approached our other neighbor with a plan to stop the moles. Sidetrack here: moles are digging up all sorts of tracks in our neighborhood. My father-in-law tells me that moles can dig many miles in one night. Many, many miles. This angers our neighbor. Let's call him George. This angers George. So George approaches my next door neighbor, Beckie, with a pair of gloves and pack of gum. He tells Beckie that he's done all sorts of research on moles, and that he's learned how to get rid of them. First you must buy a pack of Wrigley's original gum. Not spearmint. Not winterfresh, but ORIGINAL. Then, using the gloves, you unwrap a piece of gum, wad it up into a ball, and - stil