The Art of Becoming

When the pandemic began and we stayed home every single day, I delighted in the ability to choose comfortable clothing to lounge around. Despite gyms being closed, I knew that it would be easier to fit in a workout at any point in the day, because we had nothing else to do! But as hours ticked by, and days became weeks, and the pandemic had no federal or state leadership by which to curb it, my anxiety rose. I voraciously read the news, and I didn't have a physical fitness routine. My dear friend was encouraging me to set an achievable goal: just get 15 minutes of exercise a day. It seemed simple enough. How many chunks of 15 minutes happen each day? Surely I can allocate one or two of them to getting exercise. In April: I found a Youtube channel that had quick high-intensity workouts. I jumped around in our TV room, finding all of the creaky floorboards, bumping into the couch and coffee table, becoming increasingly aware that I am not as young as I used to be. Certainly not as yo

My dad and I took a walk yesterday, or the day before. Who knows what day it is anymore? After we fumed over the uncertainty of the election and the string of lies spewing out of the President's mouth, I decided to change the subject. I wanted to talk about anything except the ache in my throat and chest. me: What's your favorite fall leaf color? Dad: Red. My 11-year old son, Sean, agreed.  me: I really love the yellow ones.  Which is true, just after the rain, the yellow leaves against the dark trunk of the tree are so beautiful.  Dad: There are some leaves that start to turn, until the edges are ringed with a red-orange color, and the leaf itself is yellow. Some of them are so beautiful it almost makes me want to cry. As much as I wanted to bypass the ache, I couldn't. The fall beauty makes me want to cry, too: trees turning radiant colors and then letting go and shedding the leaves that once adorned their branches. The falling leaves and the crunch of the already fallen