The toxicity of pointing fingers

At the start of the pandemic, Corona-shaming was a thing. From the UK to the US. As most of us felt helpless in the face of massive shutdowns, economic struggle, job losses, and health concerns, many people were looking for something to do, something to help the situation. The Corona-shaming, or the finger-pointing and public humiliation of people "doing it wrong" is not something new. We have been pointing fingers at one group or another for as long as humans have lived.

What's different now is the presence of camera capabilities in everyone's pocket. What's different now is the proliferation of so many images and videos all the time, that our brains swim in array of choices: do I agree with that image? Is that image funny? Is it true? Does it strike the right chord inside of me? Does it make me angry? 

Social media encourages people to finger point. But does Corona-shaming help the virus decrease? Does it really help save lives? 

"The answer is “probably not,” says Syon Bhanot, a behavioral economist who teaches at Swarthmore. When you point out misbehavior online, he said, “you’re not confronting it — you’re virtue-signaling.” And confronting wrongdoers in person “is not going to be motivationally effective,” he added. “Shaming creates defensiveness. It doesn’t persuade, it entrenches.” (The Seductive Appeal of Pandemic Shaming, from the New York Times, April 14, 2020)

Likewise we are entrenched in a finger-pointing exercise in our politics. There is so much hatred, vitriol and disdain from one side to the other. What have we become, Americans? It seems we have forgotten the ability to discuss things with people. Instead we post on our social media spheres, then wait for praise or derision in the comments. We have no more spaces where people talk about the issues that face our country. Instead we point fingers, cast dispersions and curl up in a blanket of self-righteousness. It's toxic, and it's killing all of us.

With the rise of conspiracy theorist groups - like Q-Anon - we Americans are poised to latch onto a belief system that gives meaning to our hurt and bewilderment. The problem is:

"QAnon offers its adherents an addictive alternative reality that requires their participation and, through this participation, draws them into the elaborate architecture of the conspiracy. It exploits the sense that something is broken in our society. But rather than focus on understanding these social fractures and healing them, QAnon instead fixates on the pursuit of enemies and villains described in such extreme terms that any action — either by adherents or by identified champions like President Trump —becomes justifiable. By drawing on the culture and value system, Q adherents have justified violent attacks." (QAnon is conspiratorial, dangerous, and growing, CNN Business, August 15, 2020)

Social media is a breeding ground for our deepest fears, but we need places where we can talk, discuss, and listen to each other. Unfortunately that's been even harder during the pandemic, because people haven't been getting together to passionately discuss things. But can we challenge ourselves to continue discussions, even when we aren't sitting face to face with others?

While we wait for the day when we can socialize with our friends without fear of superspreading a new virus, we can stay up to date with what the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention directs us to do. We've never experienced a global pandemic before. Why would we think that social media has more answers than the doctors, scientists, and public health officials do? The people working to protect the health and well-being of everyone in our country deserve our attention, our listening, and our critical thinking.

Then, it's on us - every single one of us - to read an array of news information from verified sources. This is what we teach our children in school: to read critically and understand what research they find, especially on the internet. Finally we have to figure out ways to continue speaking with our family and friends - even the ones we disagree with - to listen and truly hear each other out. 

I'm not interested in finger-pointing and shaming people online. I want to dialogue, stay informed, and cultivate a belief in the goodness of our common humanity.